prayers and encouragement needed for marriage and family

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prayers and encouragement needed for marriage and family

Postby minime » Wed Oct 27, 2010 8:58 pm

We just found out we are pregnant with number 1, and are thrilled! I'm about 5 weeks now, and feeling off and on extremely tired, with a slightly sore throat at the moment. This is the good news....

Now the not so good..... And I apologize if this sounds like a Confession....My husband and I have been married for about 10 years, and practiced Natural Family Planning with a contraceptive mentality for our whole marriage while I selfishly enjoyed "making it" in my much loved and chosen, very prestigious career choice. From my perspective, our marriage started out on shaky grounds, and though I've confessed this more than once (in different words, sometimes), I still feel some guilt over this. My husband, though not perfect, is a wonderful man who loves God and me very very much. On the other hand, I entered our marriage with doubt, having felt pressured by myself, him, and my family to get married. My home life with my parents had more or less fallen apart, so, in a sense, I felt I had no where to go. My husband and I were very good friends, having much in common, but I've struggled very much for a long time (since we started dating) because I felt little in the way of "romance" with him. I spent many years praying and hoping about all this, and wrestling with the issue of whether or not our Church wedding was / is even "valid". I've even been able to discuss these issues with my husband in a very gentle way.

Finally, this past year, I started praying more and more that God's will simply be done. Beyond anything, I told the Lord, I wanted desperately to do WHATEVER the Lord wanted me to do in my marriage - leave, stay, have children, or not. I have always erred on the side of intending to "stay" and have kids, and assumed that this was / is God's intention, too. This Easter, in the Confessional, I made my best confession yet about all these issues, and since then, I have opened my heart as wide as I could to the Lord and my husband, throwing myself into their care and love, even as it felt scary and unnatural, hoping with faith that the Lord would bless the fact that my heart was in the right place, wanting only to please Him. I feel that Jesus and Mary have blessed us incredibly over the past few months with a growing closeness, though it has been, sometimes an HOURLY struggle for me of prayer, tears, and attending Mass to keep my faith strong that I was doing what was right, and to fight off that voice in the back of my head saying, "don't you see this, X or Y, annoying personality trait that your husband just displayed???? You don't and can't REALLY love him because of that, and you never did anyway, and even GOD can't change that...."

Given the fact that I am 36 years old, and we just now got pregnant after not one month of "trying", but simply one month of not "not trying", I take that as a sign of God's great blessing, though I still ask for prayers. The spiritual and emotional struggle I've endured has weakened me physically, and I've normally been very healthy, athletic, and strong. I "knew" the struggle would likely take its toll on me physically, but I put my trust in Mary to somehow preserve me so that I would recover after making it "through" this. I now feel that, in a sense, we have made it thru to the "other side", and to become pregnant so quickly afterward feels like a confirmation of this.

I would ask for prayers for my own strength and health to be fully restored, and for healthy babies (since we started late, I am desperately hoping and praying that there is more than one in there!). I also just ask for prayers that my marriage continues to grow to be a very very strong and loving one. In addition to prayers of petition, I would also like prayers of thanksgiving and praise to go out for the Lord being so amazingly good!!! Beyond that, can anyone relate to my story or offer any words of true encouragement???

Thanks so VERY much, and know that I am praying for everyone on this forum! Praise to Jesus!

Blessings,

Minime
minime
 
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Postby havinfaith » Wed Oct 27, 2010 9:36 pm

1st of all, congradulations on your pregnancy! You and your husband have been given a wonderful gift that I am sure you will cherish.

I will pray for you.

"daily marriage prayer"

"Heavenly Father through the intersession of the Holy Family

Help us treasure the gift of marriagethat reflects the love of Christ for the church, where the self giving olve of husband and wife unites them more perfectly and cooperates in your plan for new life created in your image.

Help us support men and women in their vocation of marriage,espically in difficult times when they join their sufferings to the cross.

Help us uphold the institution of marriage in our society as the place where love is nurtured and family life begins.

Help us acknowledge that our future depends on this loveand on your providential care for us. Amen"

I am sorry you are struggling. I hope this helps. May God bless you, your husband and your baby.
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Postby minime » Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:34 am

thanks so very much for your thoughts and the beautiful marriage prayer! It is uplifting!
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Postby cdcarter » Thu Oct 28, 2010 6:24 am

Congratulations. Certainly you and your growig family will be in my prayers. Romance is nice, don't get me wrong, but it isn't the end all and be all. I spoke with an older gentleman at work once. We were talking about the hard times in a relationship/marriage because at the time, we had some serious issues with my oldest. I didn't think my husband was doing enough (he was, but we were desperate and all I could see were the "failures" of him not fixing it (he couldn't - it wasn't that kind of situation).

The gentleman explained that when things got rough, he had an affair. SHe made him feel like everything in the world was fantastic. Well, that is because they *only* shared the good times, never anything else. There was no growing together, depending on one another. Once he figured that out, he wanted desperately to make things right with his wife. THey loved and cared for each other, but he said it was never fireworks. There were good times and bad times, but she was always there for him and he tried to do the same for her (after the affair). Their kids were grown when he strayed, so he didn't come back just for that.

Sometimes I think in our culture, it seems easier to just start fresh and question our choices endlessly. I'm not suggesting that people stay together at all costs, but I think we sometimes kid ourselves that the grass is greener in other pastures. AS an outsider with what little you've shared, it sounds like a pretty strong marriage, doubts and all.

Sorry. Didn't mean t lecture. I'm feeling a bit mushy with my own anniversay coming next week. But you will be in my prayers.
-Cheryl

We finally made #3 after 49 cycles of TTC and more or less coming to terms with the idea of no more children!
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Postby minime » Thu Oct 28, 2010 10:37 am

Thanks so much for sharing that story, and for the prayers! As you might imagine, I can't exactly share details of my story with my family (or even many friends), so these anonymous forums are great. Thanks for the support, and congrats on number 3!!!! I will keep you and your family in my prayers!
minime
 
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